At 5 every morning you roll out of your place.
You're never home anymore, you're not even sure what to call home.
It's been weeks since you've welcomed the warm sheets on your own bed.
You feel like it's calling your name.
But you're not yourself these days.
You shake on your jeans and give a disappointed look to yourself in the bathroom mirror.
"Who are you?"
Your eyes gaze upon the being looking back at you.
Every move you make is her's, too.
But the cold brown eyes gazing into yours...
Are not a pair you care to own.
You skip breakfast to get a few more minutes of sleep.
And go out to your car, though you're dead on your feet.
The voices of instruments guide you to contentment,
and the words of 5 angels, leave your mind to it's thoughts.
At work you are joyful, or you seem that way.
It seems there's no one around who can ruin your "good day."
And after, you walk, for a while before leaving.
Kicking leaves, sticks, and water.
You shiver at your thoughts.
The graveyard is where you spend 5 minutes to think.
"I'm dead in my mind."
You can't remember how it happened.
You don't remember when it happened.
But it's been months since you were in your own being.
You're dead and gone now.
You're walking back now.
And you thought you saw the girl you once were,
but she was just a reflection, in the muddy waters.
So you leap into the cold waters of the winter,
Trying to let the hypothermia claim the breaths that you take.
But your old common sense finds you again.
As you climb, trembling out of the below freezing slush,
you feel anger at yourself for the save.
You know that you're dying, you're dying inside.
And you've made yourself a slave to your emotions, and stress.
And you've only yourself to blame.
And the words you write now, they've lost their luster.
And the person you were, is lost in the clusters,
of people you used to befriend, that you let walk away.
You're nothing right now.
You've lost sight of yourself.
You've unhinged your mind.
And you've unplugged yourself.
"Who are you?"
Maybe in the days to come, everything will fall into place.
And maybe you just need some space.
Maybe you're just hiding yourself.
Hiding in fear of hurting yourself.
Or of being hurt again.
You'll find yourself.
You will.
Have faith.